Church was wonderful Sunday. I look forward to going each Sunday. Sometimes I’m not able, whether when I was working, or my health.
I wanted to bring awareness to some of the things I have been facing. As a step mom, wife to power lineman, ward missionary, online student, and looking for another work from home position, I still face a lot of trials. Most of them would be my health. Yet, I keep pressing forward.
Is it all easy? No way! There are times I’m on my knees so much, and asking to have ”this cup removed”. Whether its physical, emotional, spiritual or financial trials. You can only do what you can, and if you’re a religious person then you know that prayer, faith and priesthood blessings are AMAZING!!
I’m in the process of seeing some new specialists and doctors. Some that i had to transfer due to moving over a year ago and just seeing them. Or being referred/recommended due to the ongoing issues. When I say issues, I mean constant or as they say ”chronic” illness/symptoms that have been going on.
I’m 35 and has previously stated, I’ve had 9 surgeries. Some of you may relate from gall bladder, appendix, 2 bladder slings, lasik eye, knee, ACDF of the C5-C7 which put plate and screws in my neck, right tube and ovary, uterus and cervix . Many many procedures, scopes, scans, blood work and other tests.
It’s been a long wrong. Which has made my depression and anxiety little harder. And then you have your body rejecting itself. Connective tissue disease,Type 2 diabetes, ibs, cervical spine stenosis, herniated disc , inflammation, spasms, pain, discomfort, electrical shocks, tremors, mobility issues, neuropathy, pins and needles sensations, numbness, fatigue, hard to sleep, horrible headaches, vision issues, bad abdominal pain,nausea, intermittent vomiting, and gut issues.
You may think ”Wow! That’s a lot.” or ”What a crazy woman” nope, all real. All suffering for many years. Even when surgeries were done and the same issues. Countless appointments since 2004. Countless tests, scans, documentation, notes, and just kept getting harder and worse. Numerous medicine changes and side effects
No matter what the challenge was, I kept most of my suffering to myself. My tears, anger, emotions, and just kept smiling. I would cancel my appointments, and always put others first. Worried about the outstanding medical already. Worried that I’m not working or my husband and kids or someone else needs my help or attention.
I then had found some solutions which was amazing through the health journey I am. Doesn’t take away from diseases or pain. It helps me because it’s all natural food. All natural products . It has helped with my stress, nutrition, energy and so much more. If you want to learn more, just contact me through the form.
Whether there’s trouble when I eat, sleep, walk, or just normal day to day things, I still manage. Manage to do the best I can. We’re all human. My doctors and specialists are human. We make mistakes. Sometimes it takes longer to figure out things. Just like in the choices we make. But being active , holding to my faith and the gospel is just one of the comforts I have.
Continue being a mother and wife. Working hard in school, and developing my talents to serve others is so important to me. Not only does it help me know who I am , but how to help others. Another way to find comfort in trials. I love to sing. I love to do art, writing, photography, outdoors, crafts, and so much more. What do you love? Make time for you. You’ll be amazed how you feel with you work on your talents and uplift others. It really makes you feel better.
Leaning on the lord and others is another beautiful and comforted blessing. It brings you to a closer relationship. Understanding the amazing power of the priesthood, ministering and more importantly the atonement. I am most grateful for my Savior, because even among his horrible trials, I can’t even imagine, and he wanted the cup to be removed as well. Our Savior stood strong and was given strength to keep going. So, when I get down or have enough, or tired of seeing others suffering and I can’t help, I remember him. I go to my Savior and I plead for forgiveness, softened heart and strength.
When you look at your life after reading this, Don’t compare. Don’t feel bad and don’t feel like your trials don’t matter. For you and your trials do. You are being perfected, strengthened and prepared for something so greater that we can’t comprehend. It sucks. It really really does. Let loose. Be upset. Seek help and find those that will listen and not judge. Get the professional help you need. THAT IS QUITE ALRIGHT> NEVER FEEL EMBARRASSED. I did for the longest, and realized that WE ALL SUFFER. WE ALL HAVE TRIALS . WE ALL MATTER.
You’ll have judgement, I’ll still have judgement. We’re human .We’ll feel emotions, but release them constructive than destructive. All I know is I’m a work in progress. My life matters, my feelings, trials, family, friends, gifts, and my soul . To progress to the eternal goal, I must endure it well. I love my Heavenly Father and Savior. I love my falls, trials, and pain because I come closer to thee and others. It’s a time in my life to shine and work on my music. To find someone to help with a cd I want. To work on my physical and Emotional health.
So many emotions go into this post. More importantly to be out there. To notice, accept, look back and know that I , too am worth taking time for me. To bring out my talents and experiences to uplift others. So, despite what life brings us, know you’re worth. Know that trials are blessings in all circumstances and we can make it. Keep enduring it well.
I am trying as I have some situations that need miracles by a certain date . And it brings a lot of panic and anxiety, but I must keep strong. It’s hard and I fail, but I rise up. All I can do is pray and hope the lord will guide. Just as finding work from home. Just as helping with my talents , health and other things. Same with you 🙂 You are AMAZING! You are a child of GOD . HE loves you. Savior lives! Keep shining and smiling! I can’t wait to learn more. All the best. Jackie xoxo